Wednesday, February 24, 2016

i know i am skinny

  i know i m skinny...
   Being skinny is a blessing and a curse, maybe just for me personally. All my life I have been called the obvious: skinny, thin, tiny, or lean. But the names that make me shrivel up in a tiny ball or feel smaller than I already am ; stick, scrawny, or the best ; ANOREXIC. These are just some of the many that make me feel so damn tiny and non existent. We all have our insecurities and the fact that I am smaller than most or my friends is my insecurity. I embrace my weight and figure every now and then when I am feeling proud of myself, but on the regular basis it is hard to see beauty in my figure.

What are people seeing ? I see a healthy body in the mirror, something not to be a shamed of, a body that is comfortable in her own skin,but then I step into the real world and am immediately crushed  into a hundred tiny pieces. I have learned to ignore theses comments, but in the inside it still really hurts. My close friends and family know that I have been this way for a while and know I cannot change anything about it. They too have embraced my body and know tiny goes with Milan. I  have embraced it 65%, but the remaining 35% still questions and feels hidden. Hidden in a dark closet.

There is only so much I can do when people make side remarks or faces when I dress myself. I feel like I cannot complain too much because everyone wants to "be my size," but what if I am not so happy with how I look or feel? I try to be but have the world bringing me down. I try to put my game face on, I try!

It is okay to be skinny, but not too skinny. It is okay to be thick, but not too thick to the point of being in the "fat " category. I am just sick and tired of not ever being perfect for anyone. I know its my body so I have to be proud and happy of  MY BODY!People around me are not trying to be evil and mean with the comments, but it doesn't make it any better.

The way to empower each other is to lift each other up with positive comments, no negativity. I try to always be positive when it comes to peoples bodies because I want the same in return. It takes less effort to be positive rather then negative. Try it, try to say something nice to someone once a day, and you will see the difference it makes-for you and the people around you.

i know i am skinny...

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